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If I should become pregnant, I would have an abortion. I had my share of parenthood helping to raise my stepdaughter; that’s as much motherhood as I need, want, and can handle. I don’t think abortion is ever a Good Thing, but sometimes it is the Only Right Thing, and therefore it should be legal, a decision to be made by a woman and, with her consent, the man involved, not by a government.

In Mahayana Buddhism, the bodhisattva Kshitigarbha, best known by his Japanese name of Jizo, is the helper of beings who suffer in the hell realms and of children who die before their parents, including those who are stillborn, miscarried, or aborted. For the past day I have been thinking that Jizo will protect Dr. Tiller, who did his best for the unborn whom Jizo helps to good rebirths. As I was reading about him this morning, I realized that Jizo will help the doctor’s murderer, too, if he wants to get out of the hell he’s in.

I first read Ursula K. LeGuin as a child, when I discovered the Earthsea books, and I still have the same three paperbacks I read before the age of twelve, the Bantam editions with the mostly grey covers and the little woodcut drawings at the head of each chapter.  I’ve been reading LeGuin for most of my reading life, and I just finished reading her latest novel, Lavinia.

Lavinia is a retelling of the last six books of Vergil’s Aeneid, from the point of view of Lavinia, daughter of Latinus, the destined bride of Aeneas.  Lavinia has no words to say in Vergil’s poem; LeGuin allows her to speak for herself, to retell her part of Aeneas’ story and to go on beyond what Vergil had to say, to tell the whole story of her life.

I’m so excited by this novel that I hardly know what to say.  It is simply brilliant, a story by a mature writer at the top of her game.  I found it hard to put down–I could have stayed up half the night to finish it, even though it has no explicit sex and its battle scenes are narrated by someone who doesn’t fight but has to tend the wounded after.  (Yes, I meant that sarcastically.)  I recommend it to anyone who appreciates good prose, rich characterization, a story that creates a whole world you can walk into and lose yourself in.

But I recommend it in particular to anyone who identifies as a pagan, and especially as a reconstructionist pagan.  LeGuin brilliantly, imaginatively re-creates an Italy before the Empire, before the Republic, before Rome as Rome, a Bronze Age world of kings ruling small townships surrounded by their pagus, the farmlands (source of our word “pagan”).  This is a world where the numina of hearth and storehouse, field and boundary and forest are uninfluenced by the stories and the plastic arts of the Greeks, where Vesta is simply the fire, Venus the evening star, and a Vestal is an unmarried woman who tends her father’s hearth for life, as she did when she was a girl, as is the duty of the eldest daughter.  All the fighting and the politicking of the story, all the hardships Aeneas and his Trojans endured, are for one purpose only: that the images of the gods he carried out from burning Troy should be enshrined with the Lares and Penates of Lavinia’s household, on Italian soil.
LeGuin creates a pagan domesticity that wakes in me a hunger to share it.  I don’t want the near-ceaseless work and all too frequent warfare of ancient Italy, but I would love to have the sense–which comes through in another of her recent novels that I just re-read, Voices–that the housework and the fieldwork and even those clashes of arms are part of a ceaseless whole, and all of it sacred.  Lavinia’s hard work of making the sacred salted meal, which starts with purifying the gritty salt clay from the river’s edge, is no less important in the realm of piety than the yearly dance of the Leapers at the Ambarvalia, who shake their spears and dance at the boundary stone and call on Mars and the Lares in a language that was old when Vergil wrote.
If you have any interest in Vergil, Roman culture, the Bronze Age, paganism, Mediterranean history, or just plain good writing, read Lavinia.  It might change your life.
 I was getting ready to pop into the shower for my morning ablutions when I heard both my boys, Sandro and Rembrandt, racketing around and squawking.  I hurried down the hall, wondering what was causing all this mad flapping and outcry, and was as shocked as they were to see acrow trying to perch on the windowsill, only a foot or so away from them.  I know a crow is a good-sized bird, but I was amazed to see that it was at least four or five times as big as the tiels.  I’d be scared, too, if something that much bigger than I am tried to settle down right near me.  I yelled at the crow, which had retreated to the pear tree; after a couple of passes by the window, it flew away.  Rembrandt stood on his water dish, crest indignant, making repeated “fffh” noises; Sandro clung to the front of his cage and let me talk softly and make kissies at him for a moment.

On a happier note, as I walked to work under the green and flowering trees of my neighborhood, it occurred to me that my exhalations were contributing to their greenness and their blooming, giving them carbon dioxide, while they were providing me with oxygen.  It’s rather intimate, really, this ongoing mingling of breaths.

Season of romance?

Capricorn Horoscope for week of April 30, 2009

Verticle Oracle cardCapricorn (December 22-January 19)
Since it’s the Capricornian season of romance, I thought I’d give you some tips on how to thrive in the mysterious, paradoxical, crazy-making game of love. 1. Love shouldn’t be a lottery, so don’t gamble on unlikely odds. 2. Love shouldn’t be a power struggle, so try to purge any unconscious yearnings you might have to control people you care for. 3. Love can’t be a self-sustaining perpetual motion machine, so I hope you work on it at least as hard as you do at your job. 4. Love isn’t an endless vacation in the promised land, but neither is it a wrestling match with a three-legged pit bull from hell, so don’t you dare indulge in all-or-nothing fantasies.

Venus in Aries
Friday, April 24, 12:18 am PDT, 3:18 am EDT

The love planet returns to the independent fire sign of Aries where her retrograde cycle prolonged a stay that began back on February 2. This last go-round urges us to freshen up relationships with a new approach or a different partner. There is, though, a natural tension between Venus’ instinct for accommodating others and Aries’ desire for freedom that can make sparks fly. In this impulsively adventurous environment the line between conflict and attraction may not be easy to find.

New Moon in Taurus
Friday, April 24, 8:23 pm PDT, 11:23 pm EDT


This is an economic recovery New Moon that can regenerate resources and restore financial stability. These may not occur universally, but individuals can be rewarded by the Sun-Moon conjunction in this materially rich sign. Potent Pluto’s harmonious trine to the New Moon reveals hidden talents and uncovers additional sources of income. Finding greater worth on a personal level contributes to a collective rising of the financial waters. Taking time to appreciate our gifts, life’s little pleasures and the bounty of nature taps into the deep well of prosperity that lies beyond the limits of our current fears.

Mercury in Gemini
Thursday, April 30, 3:29 pm PDT, 6:29 pm EDT

Mental Mercury’s leap into its flighty home sign normally steps up the pace of thinking and communication. However, this little planet is slowing down in advance of its retrograde cycle beginning next week. We will get glimpses of new ideas and fresh angles of perception to stimulate our minds. Turning these intellectual gems into action, though, may be delayed until Mercury turns direct at the end of the month.

Mercury Retrograde
Wednesday, May 6, 9:55 pm PDT, Thursday, May 7, 12:55 am EDT

Three weeks of backpedaling by the messenger planet can complicate the flow of data, confuse conversations, increase travel inconveniences and accelerate the breakdown of machinery. Life goes on during Mercury retrograde, and some projects advance swimmingly, yet the general atmosphere is one in which small things that can go awry probably will. Extra attention to details and a fierce commitment to facts, however, will make this a productive time of reorganizing and reconnecting.

Full Moon in Scorpio
Friday, May 8, 9:01 pm PDT, Saturday, May 9, 12:01 am EDT

The Sun in Taurus represents feast and the opposing Scorpio Moon symbolizes famine, so this lunation could kick up worries and dramatize doubts. It’s purpose, though, is not to terrorize us with discomfort but to suggest that for every gain there must be a loss. There’s a price to pay, whether with cash, consciousness, emotion or attitude. Excessive Jupiter, dreamy Neptune and chronic Chiron square the Full Moon, which either fills us with faith or pushes feelings over the top. A trine from inventive Uranus and sextile from stable Saturn, on the other hand, offer well-managed innovation as tools for constructive change.

Mercury in Taurus
Wednesday, May 13, 4:53 pm PDT, 7:53 pm EDT

This is a time of contemplation as Mercury is doubly deliberate now. Its retrograde cycle is a reminder to look inward for answers and its re-entry into earthy Taurus prefers the concrete to the conceptual. A more solid awareness of reality results from grounding ideas in your body and trusting your senses to guide you. The downside of Mercury in this fixed sign is stubbornness, so be aware of when you’re holding your ground as a matter of principle rather than a matter of fact.

Saturn Direct
Saturday, May 16

The planet of order and structure begins a forward shift that can allow inner plans to begin finding their way into the outer world. The vague outlines of concepts may begin to sharpen, especially after Mercury turns direct on May 30. All Saturn asks for is commitment, discipline and a sense of purpose to work its magic of making dreams real.

Sun in Gemini
Wednesday, May 20, 2:51 pm PDT, 5:51 pm EDT

The Sun’s shift into airy Gemini brings breezes of possibilities that exceed the earthbound limits of the preceding sign Taurus. Maintaining focus may be more difficult in this diffuse and easily distracted environment, yet the gift of having so many choices begins to emerge beyond the narrow limits of necessity. There is a tendency toward superficiality as we skim along the surface, yet while flitting among the fields of flowers we open our minds to colors and shapes that enrich the palette of experience.

The New Moon in Taurus is one of the most fertile times of the year. The union of the Sun and Moon in this fixed earth sign connects us to the delights of our senses and to the joys of the physical world. Our instincts find the honey, the sweet stuff of pleasure, self-worth and money that make life more enjoyable. Pluto, the God of Wealth, in a creative trine to the New Moon rewards those willing to cut their attachment to the past and experience more deeply the riches of the present.

I can has free will

Capricorn Horoscope for week of April 23, 2009

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
From an astrological point of view, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to start a band and record an album. Your creativity is waxing, your attunement with the right side of your brain is especially sweet, and you will benefit immensely from anything you do to become less of a spectator and more of a participant. To jumpstart the process, go to Wikipedia and click on “random article.” That’s the name of your band. Then go to en.wikiquote.org and click on “random page.” The last few words of the last quote on that page will be your album’s title. Finally, go to flickr.com, click on “the last 7 days,” and choose a photo from the new page to be your CD cover. Or, if you don’t like what’s there, click on the link for “Get more interesting photos for the last 7 days.” (My band is Widemouth Blindcat, our album is “More Time for Dreaming,” and our cover art is a spiral staircase from here.)

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